I hope everyone had an amazing Valentine’s Day with their loved ones yesterday. I wanted to take this time, while we are still on the topic of love, to talk about self-love. While you took the time yesterday to show love toward others, I challenge you to take one day and reflect how much love you put towards yourself. With the ever-influential media around us, it’s hard to be content with ourselves. We see these “fit” celebrities who have perfectly portioned and healthy meals, and we can’t help but compare ourselves with them.
However, I, after going through an experience (which I will tell below) multiple times, I realized that self-control wasn’t the problem, but my lack of self-love was.
Here’s the scenario:
My friend and I just finished eating seconds of yogurt (can be anything really, my kryptonite is yogurt). My friend is happily lickng her spoon, however, I don’t feel as happy as her. The whole time – starting from the time I stood up to get seconds, I felt guilty. I felt full, my stomach told me that, but my appetite or soul or whatever thing that dictates my food choices, wanted more. So I got seconds. But the whole time I was eating the yogurt, I kept on repeating to myself, “You’re eating WAY too much. You have horrible self-control.”
Sound familiar? Yeah, Serena and I have this scenario play out pretty much everyday #noshame.
No matter how healthy my diet may be, I still have guilt trips over my diet. And I have guilt trips not because of the kind of foods I eat, but the quantities. I simply cannot do the “Everything in moderation” motto. I just eat way too much.
However, I find myself getting tired of this. I find myself getting tired of constantly hitting down on myself for eating too much. I mean isn’t food supposed to be pleasurable too? I only live once, right? Why do I have to let my body and my mind suffer by inadequetly feeding myself? I should feed and nourish myself in abundance, and sometimes that abundance can be more than normal or necessary sometimes. I mean doesn’t the word abundance mean more than enough?
Each time I found myself shaming and guilt tripping myself, I wrote down my true and innermost thoughts in my journal. Here they are:
–Food is both about properly fueling and nourish your body AND nourishing your pleasure senses. It should be used as pleasure too. (Just don’t make food your only pleasure – that’s when it becomes a concern).
–Just b/c you’re groping and grieving about it doesn’t mean those calories are irreversible. They are in your body. So just MOVE ON. Worry about others things in your life, sheesh.
–Don’t label food as bad or good. The “goodness” of food is controlling you. You cannot let this happen to you. YOU have the power. (This is to be another blog post topic – labelling food as good or bad has profound effects on how you feel about your diet and eating habits)
–Life is about balance. Balance means sometimes being perfect and other times not.
–Nobody’s perfect. My friends said this to me once and it is SO TRUE. She told me, “Stephanie, you may have a bad day, but you have less bad days than most of us. And that’s what counts.” I may “slip-up” once every two weeks and that’s a huge difference to “slipping-up” everyday. It’s how many days you slip-up compared to how many days you don’t. It’s all about consistency.
–Don’t do extra stuff. Just start fresh. Don’t undereat – or skip meals. Just start now. Don’t exercise more. Just start afresh.
–Realize that it’s okay. It’s okay if you eat too much sometimes. This may be your body’s way of saying I need food. Even if it’s not, it’s not the end of the world.
–Just like one good/healthy meal doesn’t makes you healthy, one “bad” meal doesn’t make you not healthy either.
–Just learn from these lessons – What did you do wrong?
–Did you eat too little during the day or the past week and binged?
–Were you stress eating?
–Were you actually thirsty for water?
–Did you restrict yourself on something that you found yourself craving and soon binging on it?
–It’s okay to have a cheat day once in awhile
–We’re all human. We should live to enjoy not live to restrict.
–Don’t beat yourself up on it.
To sum it up, just love yourself. Stop criticizing every single flaw about you. Those flaws make up who you are. We seriously are our harshest critics. But I challenge you all, particularly for your eating habits, to start LOVING and FORGIVING.
Have you struggled with loving and forgiving yourself?